


Lost Stars

by StarScheme



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Drama, F/M, Lars - Freeform, Original Gem Character - Freeform, Romance, SU - Freeform, Sodalars, Sodalite - Freeform, Solars, Steven Universe - Freeform, Stevinel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:14:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22793080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarScheme/pseuds/StarScheme
Summary: Sodalite is trying to cope with life on Earth and Lars is doing his best to help that along. However, it’s suggested that Sodalite may be holding Lars back from what he wants, she does everything in her power to mend the problem. Unfortunately, Sodalite’s determination to fix the trouble she caused, only seems to make things worse, forcing her to make a difficult choice.
Relationships: Lars Barriga/Original Female Character(s), Lars Barriga/Sadie Miller, Spinel/Steven Universe
Comments: 9
Kudos: 22





	1. To Help You

**Author's Note:**

> This is a SodaLars FanFiction featuring an Original Gem character that I introduced in my other FanFiction, “With All My Heart.” 
> 
> Though it’s not completely necessary to read With All My Heart to understand Sodalite and her Story, it would help you to understand her better. If not, I hope I described her background well enough for you all to follow anyhow.

The sun was setting along the horizon of the ocean water and the day was finally coming to an end. This was a huge relief to the pink young man who was sitting on the sand, his appearance rather disheveled from a nasty fall he'd taken earlier. After closing his bakery for the evening, Lars had spent the last few hours trying to locate and calm a Gem named Sodalite.

This Gem was the only one of her kind. A Gem created by Blue Diamond to ease the negative feelings of Pink Diamond. With the ability to absorb dark feelings and purify them within herself, Blue thought Sodalite would be of use in keeping Pink calm and happy. However, Sodalite was only able to absorb Pinks fears and anxieties, not her anger, resulting in many more temper tantrums than before.

Because of this, Sodalite was deemed useless. It was decided that no others would be made and the one remaining would be shattered as she no longer had a purpose on Homeworld. Fearing for her life, Sodalite fled the palace and managed to hide herself away. When Sodalite heard of Pinks new colony, she hoped to seek refuge there. Unfortunately, during attempt to get to Earth, Sodalite's Gem was cracked. As a result, Sodalite was unable to control her ability and would absorb all the fears and anxieties of all the Gems near her. She also found herself unable to purify those emotions. Instead, they filled her to the brim, until the poor Gem was frightened of just about everything. Not to mention that when those dark feelings overflowed, any Gem close by would experience their worse fears, nearly causing their own demise with the pressure on their gems.

Luckily, Lars was able to help this Gem when she finally came looking for Pink Diamond. Since he was human, Sodalite didn't feel his fear or see the dark feelings that surrounded him. Though she had caused some trouble for Steven and Spinel in her need for healing, eventually, Sodalite was fixed. However, after nearly eight thousand years of being filled with fear, Sodalite wasn't so easily fixed. Like Pinks first Pearl, she was left with a permanent defect. Sodalite couldn't help being afraid of nearly everything and was too anxious to go near Gems again. She'd also found that her power could now extinguish all light around her, covering everything in pure darkness. Which happened often when she panicked.

Since Lars was the only one Sodalite was not afraid of, he was often called on by a Gem from little homeworld when Sodalite was having a bad episode. Today seemed to be no exception. Sodalite had fallen down on her way home and when several Gems tried to offer help, Sodalite blacked out the area and caused a bit of an uproar before running away. It took some time, but Lars finally tracked her down and took a terrible tumble in the dark while trying to reach her blind.

"I'm sorry..." Sodalite began, her voice soft and trembling as she hugged her knees to her chest. Finally feeling at ease as she stared out at the setting sun.

With a sigh, Lars reached over and gently pat the Gems head. Sure, he was tired and needed a shower after that fall he took in the dark, but he didn't hate her for it. "You're fine. Hey, you went a whole week without a blackout this time. I think that's pretty good."

Sodalite glanced cautiously at the pink human and felt even worse when she saw his dirt patched face. He was always so kind to her. Even when she caused him no end of trouble. Surely she was making his life difficult. "You...didn't call my Steven this time..." she pointed out quietly, turning a bit and reaching for his face to brush some of the mud from his cheek.

"We don't have to call him every time. It would just stress you both out," replied Lars, stiffening his shoulders a bit as Sodalite's fingers gently wiped the dirt from his face.

"Every time this happens...My Steven seems disappointed in my lack of progress. ...I just can't seem to fit in here. I didn't belong on Homeworld either..."

Lars was quiet for a moment, glancing down at Sodalite's sullen expression. For all the trouble that Sodalite caused, some wondered why Lars bothered to help her. She wasn't his responsibility after all. However, the reason Lars was fine with Sodalite staying near him, was because she reminded him so much of himself and how he used to be. Never feeling like he had a place in this world, feeling alone, always being afraid. "It's only because you're not used to it yet. Remember what Pearl said? It's gonna take time to adjust. You're not the only Gem having trouble."

"..." Sodalite pulled her hand back to herself and stared down at the sand. "...I guess."

Lars felt at a loss. He wanted to cheer her up, but he still wasn't sure how to do that. She wasn't like the others yet. There wasn't anything on Earth that she enjoyed. Was it always this hard to make a girl smile? He wasn't ever very good at that. "H-hey, why don't you try helping Blue Lace at the front counter tomorrow? It would be good practice interacting with people and you know, mostly humans come in, so you won't have to see that weird, fog, smoke stuff that you normally do."

Though Sodalite liked having an excuse to see Lars, she worried about her impact on his store. "What if...I make a mistake and something bad happens? I could black out the store and ruin something again. Remember what happened before...?"

"That...was different?" Lars tried again. "I mean, you had just—-no, yeah, it was pretty bad." He admitted finally. "But I think you'll do better this time. Why not give it one more shot?"

The freckled Gem was apprehensive, but eventually nodded her head. If Lars really thought she could do it, she wanted to try her best and make him proud. Even if the idea of greeting strangers made her stomach turn. Satisfied with her answer, Lars stood up and proceeded to pat the sand from his pants before offering her a hand up.

"Cool, now let's get you home so that I can shower and change out of this ripped shirt."

"I'm sorry," she said again, allowing Lars to help lift her from her seat on the sand. "If only I could heal like My Steven. You must feel rather sore after a fall like that..."

"Yeah, but then you'd have to slober all over my face and—-" as the words came out, Lars felt his cheeks begin to burn and he quickly cut himself off. "—-I mean—-you know, cause he uses...never mind. Forget I said that." Lars stammered slightly, glancing away from her silver eyes as she stared up at him.

"I understand. You must be feeling ill from all the stress. That...I cause," added Sodalite, feeling slightly downhearted by her own words.

"I'm not sick. Now that I think about it, I haven't gotten sick since...I changed color." Lars thought aloud, turning to walk Sodalite towards the nearest Warp Pad that would take her home. Depending on how nervous she was, Sodalite traveled with him in two ways. If she was still feeling scared, the blue Gem would cling to the back of his shirt and stick close behind him. If she had calmed down, she'd hug tight to his arm. Each option made it a little difficult to walk comfortably, but it was a way he determined her mood. Considering that Sodalite had hugged his arm, she must have felt better.

Though it was always a good thing when she was calm, Lars was still a young man and Sodalite was quite well endowed in the chest, which always pressed against him while she hugged herself close. It often made their walks rather quiet since Lars would be replaying old wrestling matches in his head to distract himself.

"Oh, hey Lars," greeted Sadie as she was just leaving the boardwalk.

Lars stopped and Sodalite felt him tense up as the blonde human approached them. "H-hey, Sadie. How's it going? I thought you and Shep already left town..."

"Ah, mom sort of strong armed us into staying a little longer. Who's your friend?" asked Sadie, leaning to the side so that she could get a better look at the Gem who was slowly edging herself behind Lars to hide.

"Huh? Oh, um, this is Sodalite. I was just uh...walking her home." Lars answered awkwardly. Should he have phrased it differently? Walking her home nearly sounded as if they had just finished a date or something. "Sodalite, this is Sadie."

Sodalite hugged Lars' arm a bit tighter, staring back at Sadie cautiously. She'd heard some of the off colors mention that name before, but Lars had never said anything about her. So why did he seem so nervous? Regardless, since Lars was introducing her, Sodalite didn't want to appear rude. "...h-hello..." mumbled Sodalite quietly.

"It's nice to meet you, Sodalite. Are you staying in little Homeworld too? I bet you guys will have to expand soon with all the Gems that keep coming. Do you like Beach City?"

"I don't like it," replied Sodalite, her voice just above a whisper. "I only like Lars."

With a sharp inhale, Lars froze in place. Stunned still by Sodalite's choice of words. Sadie also seemed a bit taken aback. "Y-yeah?" Sadie began, feeling slightly embarrassed now.

"N-no! She doesn't mean it like that!" Lars added frantically, his blush burning all the way to his ears. "She-she's just a little attached to me! I was the first human she met, so, ya know, I'm just kinda...looking out for her."

Sodalite couldn't help noticing how panicked Lars was now. Had she said something wrong? She thought if she spoke with the human girl Lars would be proud of her. Instead, he seemed upset.

Sadie took in his words and appeared confused now. "Is...this why you postponed going back into Space?"

"...back into space?" repeated Sodalite.

Once again, Lars panicked a bit, pressing his finger to his lips to insist that Sadie not go any further. If Sodalite knew he might leave earth, she would just freak out. It would ruin all the progress she had made and he was trying his best to help her adjust before he left.

Sadie was quick on the uptake, but she didn't exactly approve. Why was he hiding such a thing from this Gem? It was a little disconcerting. "Um, sorry, guess I was confused. Well, I should head back. We should talk more soon. See you later, Sodalite."

Lars nodded his head and waved slowly as Sadie walked away. Glad that she didn't spill the beans, but always a little disappointed when he had to watch her walk away.

Sodalite said nothing, glancing up at Lars to examine his expression. He didn't look sad, but he didn't exactly look happy either as he watched the human girl get further away. In fact, it seemed as if he wanted to say something, but Sodalite wasn't sure what that could be. "...Lars?" tried Sodalite, tugging on his arm lightly to get his attention.

"Huh? ...oh. Sorry," Lars began with a forced smile. "I was thinking about something."

"About what?"

Now Lars felt stupid for lying. Of course she would ask him a follow up question. He should've expected that. "Ah, um...I was thinking about how well you did just now. You didn't panic at all. I'm really proud of you."

The blue Gems eyes brightened and a warm smile laced her lips. "R-really?" Sodalite asked hopefully.

The way she looked up at him, so happy to be praised, it made him feel even worse for lying. Though he was proud that Sodalite did well, it wasn't what he had truly been thinking about. He wasn't about to admit that and ruin her mood. "Y-yeah," Lars began, using his free hand to reach over and pat her head lightly. "I know you don't think so, but you have been doing a lot better."

Sodalite's Gem began to glow as she raised her chin, happily accepting Lars' small show of affection. Nothing made her happier than when Lars praised her. Since being deemed useless almost immediately after being created, Sodalite had always felt useless. Almost more so now that she had left over damage from being broken. She was always messing up even here on earth. So when Lars told her she was doing well, it made her feel as though she might actually be useful to someone. "I'll do even better tomorrow, I promise." replied Sodalite with an elated smile, more determined than ever before to do a good job.

Lars smiled back at the Gem. Though he felt guilty, he was glad she seemed so determined. He didn't want to go back into space until he was sure that Sodalite could function without him around. Once she got used to things, she'd make more friends and she wouldn't need him as much anymore. That was the goal anyway, but the thought that she wouldn't depend on him anymore did feel a bit lonely. "Let's get you home so you can res—I mean, so you can prepare for tomorrow."

With that, Sodalite nodded her head and continued to walk with Lars towards the nearest warp pad. Though Lars' conversation with the human girl concerned her a little, she convinced herself that it was simply the normal paranoia that she often experienced. If she told Lars it made her anxious, he would find out that she didn't actually do as well as he thought. For now, Sodalite would attempt to put it from her mind and focus on what was to come tomorrow morning.


	2. Misunderstandings

The next morning, Lars was anxiously pacing behind the counter of his shop. It had been nearly an hour since Sodalite was supposed to show up. He could only imagine what was keeping her. Had she panicked and hidden herself somewhere again? Maybe she got startled and ran off. What if she had gotten lost and didn't know how to get back?

"She is still not here?" Rhodonite asked in concern, peeking out from the kitchen.

Lars sighed and placed his hands on the counter to stop his nervous movements, but it didn't help anything. Honestly, he was worried and that frustrated him. Why did she have to be so much trouble? "Agh," groaned Lars in aggravation while irately unfastening his apron and heading for the front door. Just as he was about to leave, the door swung open and he barely avoided colliding with Steven who had come to pick up an order for Amethyst.

"Whoa," gasped Steven as he offered a hand to Lars who had nearly stumbled backward. "You okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Did you just come from little homeworld?" Asked Lars once he realized that Steven might have gone to check on Sodalite this morning.

Steven nodded, "I was just dropping off Spinel. I told her that she can't keep blowing off her class to spend time with me."

"Did you happen to see Sodalite?"

Steven was about to answer, but was interrupted when Sodalite came rushing in, her braids had nearly come loose, with twigs and leaves stuck in her hair. "I'm here!"

Lars and Steven stared silently at the disheveled Gem in surprise. It looked like she had just been in a fight. She even had scratches and dirt on her face.

"What happened?!" Lars asked in panic as he brushed past Steven to get a better look at her.

Sodalite blushed lightly once she remembered how unpleasant she must have looked. "O-oh! ...I...had a trouble this morning. I'm sorry I'm late, but I-"

Lars sighed heavily, placing his hands on her shoulders as he resisted the urge to hug her in front of Steven. "It's fine," he said finally. "Rhodonite will you help you get cleaned up in the back room, okay?"

Sodalite nodded her head, "Okay! I-I want to try and make some cookies today. Can I?"

"Just get cleaned up first," he replied with a smile.

Doing as she was told, the blue Gem saluted Steven before dashing off towards the back. Sodalite didn't like being around Gems, but one at a time wasn't too terrible and if she wasn't overly frightened, she could just close her eyes to keep from seeing the dark fog.

"She seems in a great mood for someone that looks like they just wrestled with a bear." Joked Steven as Lars went to put his apron back on.

"She probably fell or got her hair caught on a bush while running away from something, or both," Lars sighed. "At least she didn't hide away this time."

"So I guess she's doing better? I was getting a little worried. You know, Garnet was thinking about a new schedule for Sodalite to help her get used to other humans."

"Other humans? I thought you guys wanted her to get along with Gems?" Asked Lars.

"Yeah, but because of the trauma she suffered before...we think it would be easier to expand her circle of friends by involving her with other humans instead. I mean...as it is, the only one she wants to be around is you." Steven replied, stepping up to the counter so they didn't have to speak too loudly.

Right away Lars didn't like the way this conversation was headed. "Well yeah, but I don't mind it. I already told you that I'd look after her."

"But aren't you going back into space soon? She's gonna—-mmph!?"

Lars had quickly reached over the counter and placed his hands over Stevens mouth. "Whoa! You can't just go around saying that! What if Sodalite hears you?!" Lars whispered harshly before he pulled his hands back with an irritated sigh. Why was everyone so fixated on this topic?

"Y-you haven't told her?" Steven asked in surprise. "Why not?!"

"Because she doesn't need to know right now," insisted Lars in a huff. "It won't lead to anything good. Sodalite will just end up crying, or worse, refuse to leave her home at all."

"Okay, well what do you think she's gonna do when you're gone? The outcome won't change no matter when you decide to tell her."

"Look, it's not like I'm leaving tomorrow or anything. I told the off colors that I wanted to wait until Sodalite was doing better. So, you don't need to worry about Sodalite or any of this right now."

Steven groaned anxiously. He knew how emotional Sodalite was and he didn't see how this was a good idea. Also, Lars couldn't have known how long it would take to help Sodalite. Was he planning to put his trip on hold with such an uncertain timeline? "...well, I won't say anything to her, but you should really think about it. I know that if I waited too long to tell Spinel that I was gonna leave, she would—"

"—-Sodalite and I are totally different from you and Spinel," interrupted Lars with an awkward catch in his throat.

"Are you though?" Asked Steven cautiously. "I mean...you spend all your time together, you're always doing things for her, you take care of her, and you both—-"

Lars could feel his cheeks burning terribly while Steven listed things off. "Th-that's enough," he said quickly. "Of-of course we spend a lot of time together. I mean, it's because she's really attached to me. It's not like we're a couple or noth'n. Besides, Sodalite doesn't even know about that kind of stuff."

"Are you sure?" Steven asked with a small smirk. "She certainly asks me about it quite a bit."

"She's just curious..." muttered Lars, obviously annoyed. "Sodalite...is trying to understand a lot of things right now."

Steven sighed heavily. Lars was certainly being stubborn about all this. It's not as if it wasn't obvious. This was the situation with Sadie all over again. "Fine. Well I guess she'll just figure all that out once you leave. So you'll be space, Sodalite will find a partner, everybody wins."

"Space?" Repeated Sodalite as she stepped out from the back room.

"Ah! You're so quiet when you walk!" Lars exclaimed with a start while Steven froze up nervously, worried he had said too much.

"U-um..." started Steven awkwardly, "...I was just..."

Sodalite stared silently from Steven to Lars. She could feel how nervous Steven was. Why? "I didn't mean to interrupt, My Steven," said Sodalite with a smile.

"You didn't interrupt anything," Lars insisted. "Steven was just making bad jokes. Could you go and get the order for Amethyst? He's picking it up."

Sodalite nodded her head, eager to be of use. "Y-yes," she replied before leaning up on her top toes and kissing Lars' cheek. "I'll be right back, My Steven."

Lars stood still as Sodalite rushed off, making it a point not to look at Steven and hoping he wasn't blushing too obviously. Though this was nothing new to Lars, he didn't like the timing of it in front of Steven after what they just talked about. "She-she just does that sometimes."

Steven grinned, "mmhm..."

"She's just-it's like—-" Lars stammered, trying to come up with some sort of excuse. It was harder than he thought. It's just that Sodalite had become so affectionate lately and he didn't exactly discourage it.

"Here you are, My Steven!" Sodalite announced as she rushed back into the front room with a box of treats, placing it on the counter for him.

Steven was still smugly beaming over what he had witnessed and Lars' inability to explain it away. "Thank you, Sodalite," replied Steven, taking the box and putting the money in its place. "Well Lars, I sure look forward to our next conversation about all this," added Steven as he turned for the door, feeling very much that he won this little debate.

Lars was too annoyed to say anything in return, but once Steven had finally left, he turned to Sodalite and grabbed her hand. "C-come here for a sec," he mumbled, pulling a confused Sodalite to the back room.

"D-did I do something wrong? Was that the wrong order?" Sodalite asked, worrying instantly that she'd made a mistake already.

"No, that was fine. Um...it's just..." Lars' voice trailed off as she shut the door behind him, making sure they weren't overheard. "So...um...I've been meaning to mention this...but you know hoe you...show affection? I was thinking...maybe you shouldn't do that in front of people..."

Sodalite was still confused, but after a moment, she gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "I-I'm sorry!" She exclaimed quickly, "I-I didn't think-I-"

Lars waved his hands a bit to get her attention, trying to stop the panic before it took over. "It-it's fine! I mean-I just...don't want anyone to get the wrong idea and confuse you with the things they might say..."

"...the wrong idea?"

"Well, I mean, I should have said something before, but some people might see it as a thing that...couples do."

"—-Like My Steven and his Spinel?"

"Y-yeah..." answered Lars. "I know you said Spinel told you it was fine...and you know...kissing on the cheek and stuff is pretty harmless otherwise, but others like Steven...might think we're—-you know—-um—" the more he went on, the less it made sense coming out of his mouth. When Sodalite started doing this, it seemed harmless enough, but not after what Steven suggested.

Sodalite deflated a little, "I'm sorry. ...I didn't realize it would trouble you so much..."

After seeing the dejected expression on Sodalite's face, Lars began to panic. Why did he always say the wrong thing when he got nervous? "N-no! It's not-it's no trouble!"

Though Sodalite knew that Lars didn't mean any harm, she felt awful. Why did her chest feel so tight? She didn't like feeling that she'd upset Lars somehow. "...I understand. If this is something that makes you uncomfortable, I won't do it again."

Now Lars just felt bad. Normally, he wouldn't care at all. It's just, now that he knew Steven suspected something, it was harder for him to deny it. He knew his feelings for Sodalite were growing, but he also knew he had to keep that in check. Sodalite trusted him so completely, if he really admitted how he was feeling to himself, he would have to also admit what a jerk he was for betraying that trust. With a heavy sigh, Lars ran his hand through his hair and slumped his back against the door. "It's...not your fault. I promised to help you learn things...and I haven't been doing a good job."

"Ye-yes you have," Sodalite insisted now. "I-I really like learning things from you! I'll do better! I won't do the couple things anymore, I promise!"

Lars felt something tug at his heart. This was bad. "Don't worry," he said quietly before taking a step forward and placing his hand at the top of her head to stroke her hair. "...I'm sorry I even brought this up. I was just overthinking things again..."

For the first time, Sodalite wished that Lars had a Gem. At least then she would be able to tell how he was feeling right now. Especially at times like these when Lars seemed melancholy. It was becoming more frequent. He always insisted he was fine, but she knew there was more to it. "...I just want to stay with Lars..." Sodalite mumbled sadly, reaching over with her hand to gently grip his apron.

"I know..." replied Lars quietly. He had lied to Steven earlier. He wasn't keeping his Space trip a secret for Sodalite's sake. At least, not entirely. As selfish as it was, Lars didn't want her to distance herself from him if she found out. These feelings he had, surely they would fade in time and he knew very well that Sodalite didn't see him that way. She saw him as more like a guardian or some kind of brother. She was also terrified of being separated from him. If she knew how he was feeling, she'd probably go along with it just to make him happy, regardless of her own feelings.

"...Lars...?" Began Sodalite in concern. He'd been quiet for a little while now. Without waiting for a reply, she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Though he hesitated for a moment, Lars wrapped his arms around her in return and smiled. Again, feeling guilty harboring feelings for such a pure Gem. She needed a friend. Someone to look out for her. Not someone who's feelings would only trouble and confuse her. "You don't have to worry," he said finally. "I'm sorry I even brought all this up. You're doing just fine as you are."

Sodalite nodded a bit, but she didn't let go right away. If Lars wasn't going to tell her what was wrong, she'd have to find out herself. He was always doing things to make her feel better. Since she couldn't use her power to do the same for him, she'd have to do it the human way.


	3. Some Well Meaning Advice

The next day, Sodalite was determined more than ever to help Lars. Not with the Bakery, but with his ever declining mood. Unfortunately, since she couldn’t let Lars know of her concern, it meant she would have to do this without him. It also meant she would have to seek help from the one that knew Lars best. To her knowledge, that was her Diamond; Steven.

With all the courage she could muster, Sodalite warped away from little homeworld and ended up inside of Stevens home. She had her eyes closed tight the entire time, anticipating the awful dark cloud that would be hanging over the room, but when she dared to open her eyes, she was pleasantly surprised to see that there was not much there.

“Steven?!” Shouted Spinel from upstairs, apparently triggered by the sound of the warp. However, she was disappointed to see that it wasn’t who she was waiting for when she rushed down the steps. “Sodapop? What are you doing here,” she asked with genuine surprise considering that Sodalite was alone.

The blue Gem winced a bit, put off by the dark fog that hovered around Spinels Gem. Still, she needed to be brave. This was for Lars. “I-I came to...to speak with My Steven. ...b-but I guess...he’s...not here...?”

Spinel sighed sadly, “he’s not. He and Garnet needed to speak with the Diamonds about something...and apparently I tend to distract them...so I stayed behind. ...but what did you need?”

“I just...I thought Steven could-could help since he knows Lars well...and Lars has been...r-rather melancholy lately...” answered Sodalite, deflating a bit when she realized that her courage had not paid off. “S-sorry to have bothered y—“

Spinel outstretched her arm and took hold of Sodalite’s hand, pulling the startled Gem from the warp pad and instead to her side. “I can help!” Exclaimed Spinel, excited to have something that might fend off this boredom while she waited for Steven to return. “I know all about Lars and I’m a Spinel, it’s my job to cheer people up!”

Though Sodalite would have liked to refuse right away, she couldn’t deny that this sort of thing is what Spinels were created for. Perhaps getting advice from a Spinel would work just as well. “...if-if you don’t mind...” mumbled Sodalite with a nervous smile.

“Ah gee, it’s no trouble,” replied Spinel happily. “Now, what has our pink pal so down?”

Now this was where Sodalite needed help the most. “I...I’m not sure. Lars insists that nothing is wrong...but I...when he thinks I’m not looking...he gets so down. ...or...he’ll look at me...and he seems...upset. I-I want to help make him happy again. So-so that he smiles like-like before.”

Spinel listened carefully, tapping her foot lightly as she thought what would help best. Her favorite past time with Lars was to see how much she could get him to freak out, but that wouldn’t help here. Suddenly, she remembered Steven mention something about Lars having a crush on Sodalite. So if Sodalite just did the same things that she did to make Steven happy, wouldn’t it all work out? “I’ve got it,” shouted Spinel, causing Sodalite to flinch in alarm. “Lucky for you, Lars is human and Steven is half human. Since I am an expert at cheering up Steven, I can certainly help you with Lars.”

Sodalite had become even more hopeful now. After all, Spinel made a good point. “O-okay! So...what do I have to do?” She asked with renewed optimism.

While Sodalite was receiving Spinels advice, Lars was just finishing up with the latest customer, waiting for them to leave the shop before he reached back to untie his apron. “I’m gonna take a quick break,” he announced to the Off Colors in the kitchen. The Rutile twins taking their place at the front counter as Lars left out the back to get some air. It was nearly noon and he hadn’t heard from Sodalite at all. Usually she was here before he even opened the store waiting for him. When she wasn’t, it often meant that she was too scared to leave her home, or something scared her on the way here and she was hiding somewhere alone. Either way, it threw him off a bit when she wasn’t around.

“Bad day?” Came a familiar voice from behind.

Lars turned to look and sure enough, Sadie was peeking from the corner before she stepped out completely with a smile. “Sorry, they said you’d be back here.”

Even if Lars was happy to see Sadie, it didn’t erase the sting he still felt every time she was around. “It’s fine. Uh, what’s up?”

“I came by to give you and the others some tickets to our next show. We’re gonna perform before we head out for the others on our tour.”

“Oh, thanks, I’ll be sure to-“ as Lars reached out for the ticket she offered, he suddenly recalled Sodalite’s aversion to crowds. “—uh...I actually might have to skip this one. ...sorry...”

“Why’s that?”

“Well...you know that Gem...you met the other day with me...? She uh...she’s not great in crowds and it sometimes sets off a bad reaction when she gets startled. I wouldn’t want to mess up your show with a sudden black out or anything.”

“Oh, so if you can’t bring your girlfriend you don’t want to come?” Sadie teased. Though it was in good fun, she couldn’t help being a little hurt that he would skip her show because of something like that.

“Sh-she’s not my girlfriend!” Lars exclaimed in a bashful panic. “She-I’m just helping her out. She’s scared of...a lot of things and I just happen to be the only one she trusts right now. So...I-she’s just usually always around me. If I went to a concert she would try her best to come along...but I know it’d just scare her. So...yeah...”

“You’re the only one she trusts? She doesn’t have any other friends?” Sadie asked, a bit confused and now concerned by the situation. “That’s...not very good is it? I mean...what is she gonna do when you leave?”

“I’m not gonna leave until she is better. I mean...she needs me.” Lars answered, finding this conversation rather awkward. He was uncomfortable talking about Sodalite with Sadie of all people. His feelings were still pretty complicated with the both them.

“...well...if you say it like that, but...how do you know how long it will take for her to get better? Are you just going to put your life on hold forever? You were so excited about going back into Space before.”

This was true. Lars did want to go back and explore the stars again. When Sadie left him, he didn’t have much reason to stay on earth. At least, not until Sodalite dropped out of nowhere. In truth, even though he wanted Sadie to be happy, their break up left him feeling rather down on himself. They had both changed for sure, but his feelings for her stayed the same, why didn’t hers? Even though he thought he’d changed for the better, it wasn’t enough for Sadie. It wasn’t enough to keep her. So when Sodalite came around, it was a bit bothersome at first, but after a while, it felt nice to be needed. Maybe he wasn’t ready to let that go yet. “It doesn’t matter. She’s a nice girl and she needs my help. Besides, she’s been working real hard. I think she’ll get better a lot faster than some people think.”

Sadie didn’t seem convinced. She worried that Lars was once again avoiding something that could be good for him because he was comfortable with what he had now. “But aren’t there a lot of Gems who can help her? Steven too? It doesn’t have to be you.”

Though Sadie meant to help, her words only struck a raw chord with Lars. He knew that already. In fact, it was just one more thing he worried about. Something he really didn’t like to admit to himself. After all, the only reason that Sodalite was attached to him was because he met her first. If she had stumbled upon any other human at that time, she would be the same with them, wouldn’t she? This thought only made Lars feel selfish. He didn’t really want her to get help from anyone else. He didn’t want Sodalite to change like Sadie had and realize that he wasn’t enough. That there was someone better. This entire conversation was just making him feel sick with himself. He felt as though he were slowly turning back into that selfish jerk he was before. “Y-you know...I really don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Lars insisted.

“Lars...I just want you to be happy, that’s all...” admitted Sadie quietly. “You’re...you’ve always been really important to me...”

His heart felt tight beneath his chest. Why did she have to say things like this? He wasn’t exactly happy hearing something like this from her right now. Not when she was just gonna turn around and be with Shep afterword. Still, he couldn’t change what had already happened. “What? You think Sodalite is holding me back?” Lars asked with a bitter snap in his tone. “As if I suddenly became some kind of saint...” he muttered, turning his gaze to the floor. He suddenly recalled Sodalite’s smiling face, looking at him as if he were something special. Why couldn’t anyone else see how awful he was being? It made him feel even worse. He wasn’t the hero trying to save Sodalite from the tower. He was the villain that kept her locked up there.

Sadie could see that Lars was getting upset. More so than she thought he would. Truly, she was just thinking of his best interests. Though she realized now that it probably didn’t sound that way. “Wait...I think you may have misunderstood...” she began with a nervous smile, stepping forward and shoving a couple of tickets into his hand. “I’m sure you have good intentions. Just don’t...um...you know, don’t put yourself aside for someone else...”

For some reason, it almost made him angry to hear that from her. Was she suggesting he just leave Sodalite behind to do what he wanted? As if he didn’t feel selfish enough? “I’m not!” He bit back with flushed cheeks, pushing the tickets back in her hands. “Just mind your own business!”

The dejected look on Sadies face was all too familiar and it only served to make Lars feel worse. He just couldn’t handle how muddled everything was getting. “Look, I-I’m sorry,” he began with a sigh, running his hand through his hair. “Just...don’t worry about me. Everything is fine, I swear. I’m just kinda tired today.”

Sadie wanted to say more, but she could tell that Lars had reached his limit. Anything more and he’d just pull back further. “Okay. ...well...I’ll keep the tickets for you if you change your mind. Um...I’ll see you later...”

“...yeah,” he replied, briskly walking away without looking back. He didn’t want to be cold with Sadie, but it still felt so awkward and he wasn’t sure how to act when things got serious like this. Especially considering he was dealing with a lot of conflicting emotions right now.

Though he went back inside the bakery, Lars stayed in the back room for a bit. He would have preferred to call it an early day, but he wasn’t sure if Sodalite would be showing up or not. If only she could handle having a phone without freaking out each time the ringer went off. However, just as Lars was trying to figure out some way to contact her, the back door creaked open slowly and Sodalite peeked inside.

“...th-they said you were back here...” the blue Gem explained as she slowly slipped into the room, but leaving the door open in case he told her to leave.

Lars was silent, staring up at Sodalite as he sat atop several boxes they kept most of the dry ingredients in. He glanced at the clock, noting that half the day had gone by before she showed up. Where was she until now? Did she get lost? Scared? When he looked back at her, she didn’t seem upset, though she did look rather concerned. Probably because he hadn’t said a word since she came in.

“...you can shut the door,” said Lars with a sigh. Seeing her here was a relief, but it didn’t help his guilt much after speaking with Sadie.

“You’re upset...” Sodalite observed as she shut the door. “...what happened?”

“I’m fine,” he lied quickly. What was he supposed to tell her anyway? That he hated himself for selfishly wanting her to depend on him while deluding himself that it was for her sake? Yeah, that would go over well.

It was the answer she expected. He never seemed to confide in her when things bothered him. Why not? Was she so useless that he thought there was no point in it? Shaking her head a bit, Sodalite tried not to think negatively on the matter. It’s the whole reason she went for advice. She was determined to make Lars feel better, even if he wouldn’t talk about it. She said nothing as she sat herself down beside him, trying to muster up the courage she needed to make use of Spinels advice.

“...are you happy?”

Sodalite was surprised by Lars’ sudden question. What did that have to with how he was feeling? “Happy? ...well...I’m happy when I’m with you,” she answered with a smile.

It’s not like Lars expected a different answer from her. “...what if...” he began, hesitating for a moment when he tried to get to get the words out. It wasn’t really something he wanted to think about either. “...what if it turned out...that I’m not such a good person? What if you found out that I was actually really just a selfish coward who...just didn’t want someone to leave again?”

Once again, Sodalite found his question strange. It didn’t make much sense to her. When she glanced at Lars’ face, he seemed anxious and almost afraid. Was he worried about her answer? “I don’t understand...” replied Sodalite after contemplating her answer. “...is this what’s been upsetting you? Are you worried that you’ll become these things?”

Of course she didn’t understand. He already was all these things. Lars shook his head, “forget it...”

“You’re...the only thing about Earth that I like...” began Sodalite, scooting a bit closer so that she could hug his arm and snuggle her cheek against his shoulder. “I don’t know what’s wrong...but...I’m sure you’re not any of those things...”

Lars’ chest tightened up and it became difficult to breath all of a sudden. This girl just didn’t know what she was saying. Didn’t she understand that he was taking advantage of her dependence on him? That his intentions were no longer innocent? Even now, with her so close, it would be so simple to turn and hold her. “Sodalite...I’m not a—“

Before he could finish, the blue Gem had leaned over a bit more and pressed her lips to his cheek, planting light kisses along his face.

His cheeks burned beneath her lips and Lars pulled back in an attempt to stop her. “W-Wait...”

“Why?” Asked Sodalite at once,only leaning in further to continue. It used to make him smile. Maybe that wasn’t enough anymore? After considering Spinels, Sodalite reached over and placed her palm to his opposite cheek, turning his face towards her before she kissed his lips.


	4. A Kiss Goodbye

At first, Lars froze up. Sodalite was often affectionate with him and kissed his cheeks whenever she got the chance, but this was the first time she'd ever done something like this. Did she even understand what she was doing? Lars pulled his arm from her embrace and placed his hands on her shoulders, pushing her back a little so that he could see her face.

"Wh-wha-?" Was all Lars managed to stammer out. His head was spinning and seeing her innocent eyes staring up at him didn't help anything.

"It's a kiss," Sodalite replied with a smile. She thought Lars knew what it was, but he seemed rather confused. "It's supposed to make you smile."

Before Lars could say anything more, Sodalite cupped his face in her hands and kissed his lips once again.

He should have pushed her back. He knew that, but he barely had the self control to do so the first time. Asking him to have that kind of willpower was like asking a fish to breath air. Leaning into the kiss now, Lars turned his body and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against his chest. Even if he wasn't sure why this happened, it wasn't like he hadn't thought about it many times when they were alone. Every time she kissed his cheeks, he imagined how soft her lips would feel against his own. In the end, Lars was anything but disappointed.

Sodalite was surprised and delighted when she felt Lars wrap his arms around her. If he didn't like something, he would panic or outright reject it. So at least that meant she wasn't doing something she shouldn't be. However, this felt different from what she expected. Sodalite had given Lars lots of kisses on the cheeks before and it always made her happy. This time, with Lars kissing her back, Sodalite felt as if the room started to spin. For thousands of years all she could feel was sadness and fear, forced to suffer through the pain that other Gems felt. After all that, she nearly forgot what it was like to be happy. With Lars, she was happy. Everything she did after meeting him was an effort to be praised, to prove herself useful so that he would keep her around. This kiss as well, was something she was doing in hopes of helping Lars and lifting his spirits. Not to say that it wasn't making her happy as well.

As their lips brushed together slowly, Sodalite could feel Lars' heartbeat against her chest. Normally, his heart was slower than other humans, but it thumped a bit faster this time. When she spoke with Steven before, he mentioned that how much he loved Spinel and how she made his heart beat faster. Thinking that she might be able to do the same for Lars; nothing could be better.

Just as Sodalite began to feel Lars' hands slip beneath the back of her shirt, a sudden knock startled the both of them. With a quick gasp, Sodalite blacked out the room and Lars was forced back to reality. His face burned as he sat there with his hands halfway up the back of her shirt. He panicked internally and pulled his hands back, turning away from Sodalite even if he couldn't see anything.

"I-I'm sorry!" Sodalite exclaimed at once, pulling the void back at once and returning light to the room.

"Captain? I just wanted to let you know that Blue Lace is taking over the front for a while." Called out Rhodonite from behind the door.

Lars was now sitting at the edge of the box crate, looking down at the floor with his face completely flushed. "Thanks!" He shouted back, trying to shake himself back to rational thought. His mind was terribly scattered and he couldn't quite believe what had just happened. He almost let himself get carried away.

Sitting next to him, Sodalite was blissfully unaware of the inner struggle Lars was dealing with. She wasn't embarrassed or upset. She was happy and when she turned her head she was surprised to find that Lars didn't appear to feel the same. In fact, he seemed troubled yet again. Why? Sodalite was sure that she had followed Spinels advice correctly. "L-Lars...?" She began, leaning over in an attempt to get a better look at his face.

The pink human flinched at the sound of her voice, gripping the edge of his seat with his hands. He knew she must have been confused by his behavior right now. She was going to start panicking if he didn't say something soon, but he honestly felt at a loss. He could still feel her lips on his as he replayed everything in his head. He should have stopped it right away. Why did he let himself slip so easily? Clearly all his self restraint until now was wasted. What was he supposed to say now? "...why did you...?" Lars began quietly, turning his face away from to further hide his expression.

Sodalite deflated at once. He wasn't happy. What more could she do? Was he really so upset that he wouldn't look at her? Thinking that she had messed up yet again, tears welled up in her eyes and without warning, the blue Gem was openly sobbing into her hands now.

This reaction caught Lars off guard and forced him to his feet, quickly panicking as he stood over the weeping Gem. "Wha—why are you—-please don't cry!"

"I thought it worked," sobbed Sodalite, her voice muffled slightly by her hands.

"Worked?" Lars repeated, confused and panicked by her tears. He never knew what to do when she cried like this. It happened a lot when they first met because he would say something without thinking and hurt her feelings, but he thought he had fixed that.

"I wanted to make you feel better, but all I did was make it worse! Spinel said you'd be happy, but-but I—"

Lars heard Spinels name and immediately flared up, reaching over and grabbing Sodalite's wrist to pull her hands from her face. "Spinel told you to do this?"

With the way he was looking down at her now, Sodalite worried that she'd made him angry or gotten Spinel in trouble. "...Y-you've been upset recently. ...I wanted to...to cheer you up. Spinel...gave me some advice..."

So this was just another case of someone digging into his business? This meant Sodalite kissed him because someone told her to, not because she wanted to. Lars sighed and released Sodalite's hands, placing his own hand over his eyes to think for a moment. "Spinel is the last Gem you should take advice from..." muttered Lars.

Sodalite wipes her eyes, "Spinels are made to make others happy. ...and My Steven is a half human male. My Steven said that Spinel makes him very happy. So I thought...if I-I do for you what she does for him..."

"Spinel and Steven love each other. The things they do are different from what we-" Lars stopped his explanation when he saw Sodalite staring up at him with such a dejected expression. He didn't want to get frustrated and shout. It would be like yelling at a small, wounded animal. "...we just can't do the things that they do. I thought I explained this before..."

"But I do love Lars..." replied Sodalite.

"You don't know what you're saying," Lars insisted. He knew that Sodalite was attached to him, but it wasn't romantic love. More like a puppy that followed him home.

"Yes I do," Sodalite continued as she got to her feet in order to face Lars properly. "I know what Love means. My Steven explained it."

"Look...just...don't listen to Spinel about this stuff. I don't want her putting ideas in your head."

For the first time since they met, Sodalite was beginning to feel frustrated with Lars. He always insisted that she didn't understand when he didn't want to discuss it further. "I...I don't belong to Spinel. ...she can't make me do anything. I kissed you because I-I really thought it would make you smile. Spinel said that when you kiss someone you love, it makes you both happy..."

"Yeah, but again, Spinel is Stevens girlfriend. You know...they-"

"-love each other," Sodalite finished for him sadly. "...so even if I love Lars, it didn't make you happy because you don't love me?"

Suddenly, Lars felt backed into a corner. What was he supposed to say? Surely she didn't know what she was talking about. "I-I didn't say that, but the kind of Love that Spinel and Steven have is different from what you're thinking. See, they want to be together forever and you know, touch...and stuff..." as his voice trailed off, Lars could feel his cheeks begin to burn again. He regretted not buying some books on this subject for her.

Sodalite stared up at Lars with a blank expression. She didn't see the difference. If anything, his explanation only proved her point. "Isn't that the same? I want to stay with you all the time. I hate going back home. All I do is wait until I can see you again. I hate it when you're hurt and I hate it when you're sad. What makes me happiest...is when I'm with you." Stepping forward, Sodalite took Lars' hand and brought his palm to her cheek, "your touch makes me happy too. Even if it was Spinels advice...I was happy to give you a kiss like that. ...did you really hate it so much?"

Lars was quickly losing his resolve. It was hard to rebuke her when she looked up at him like that. Of course he didn't hate it. If he had his way, he'd grab her and continue what she started. "N-no..." he replied honestly, "...I didn't hate it. It's just...I-"

"-I'm always happy when you hold me. You hug me all the time when we're alone. Isn't that also something you do when you love someone too?"

"W-well, yeah, sometimes, but it's not-I mean-" Lars stammered in a frantic attempt to collect his thoughts. It wasn't like Sodalite to be so assertive. She was rather insistent right now, but she usually backed down when Lars dismissed things. She didn't seem to be backing down this time.

"So what don't I understand? Why do you insist my love is so different from what it's supposed to be?"

"You don't know any better!" Shouted Lars finally, forcing an awkward silence between the two. He could see that she was hurt by what he said, but it's not as if he could take it back now. "...you...you're a Gem and maybe you're advanced in a lot of ways, but you don't know anything about being in love or stuff like that. If you met some other human that day...wouldn't it be the same? You'd be attached to them like this and wouldn't want anything to do with me."

Now that he started, Lars found the words spilling out like lava. Just like when he ate that fire salt in the past. It felt like he was burning himself saying all this aloud. He knew that once it was over, Sodalite would realize her mistakes and distance herself from him.

"You painted me as some hero when we met, but I'm not! I'm just some jerk who tripped in the woods. That's all. What's worse, I had just been left by the one girl I cared about. So even though I wanted to help, I liked the attention. I should have stopped you when you started getting overly affectionate, but I didn't! You know why? Because I'm pathetic! I wanted you to stay with me and I didn't care that you didn't know any better! I should have been distancing myself from you so that you could make other friends, but I didn't! I didn't want you to change! I would have been happy keeping you all to myself! I didn't want you to find something better like Sadie did! I didn't want to admit that I cared about someone again if they were just gonna leave! So I deluded myself into thinking you weren't ready to change or that you couldn't! I wanted you to depend on only me because at least then I would be sure that you wouldn't leave! So I took advantage of the fact that you liked me and I kept you with me because I'm selfish!"

As Lars confessed everything, he could feel something gripping at his heart as if trying to squeeze the life from him. He hated himself. Every time Sodalite would smile at him unaware of this underlying fear he had, it made him feel worse. Surely now she understood what kind of person he was. Perhaps that was better. How long would he have let this go on for if he wasn't pushed to admit everything now?

When he glanced down at Sodalite, she hadn't moved. She had listened to his emotional outpouring without a word, simply staring up at him with wide eyes. He couldn't tell how she was taking this. She didn't look angry, sad, or confused. There was nothing helpful in her expression at all. With an agonized groan, Lars turned for the door, too embarrassed and upset with himself to face her any longer.

"W-Wait," pleaded Sodalite once she realized he was about to leave.

"Steven can look after you from now on," Lars replied, keeping his back to her as he opened the door. "It's better for you if you're not around me."

With that, Lars rushes from the room before Sodalite could say anything. He knew that his words must have hurt her, but it was for the best. No matter how much he cared about her, he had to let her go.


	5. Lars’ Resolve and Sodalite’s Plea

It had been a few days since Lars told Sodalite to stay away. He had gone home that day and called Steven, asking his friend to pick Sodalite up and bring her home. Since then, he hadn’t been back to the bakery. The off colors were concerned of course, but Fluorite urged them to give the captain some space. After what he said to Sodalite, Lars didn’t feel much like going out. Even baking did nothing to help his mood. He told the off colors that he needed some time to get ready so they could head back into space. He just wanted a few days to get out of this funk so they didn’t ask a million questions. Still, there was nothing keeping him here anymore and in space he wouldn’t be tempted to seek Sodalite out and ruin everything. 

Even if he had decided it was for her own good, Lars couldn’t help worrying about her. She must have cried after he left. Was she still upset? Was she feeling brave enough to leave her home without him there? Did she even miss him after the awful things he admitted that day?

As he laid in bed staring up at the ceiling, his phone began to buzz beside him. With a glance at the screen he sighed after noticing that Steven was calling yet again. He had been trying to get in touch with Lars ever since he left Sodalite at the bakery, but the last thing Lars wanted was to hear Steven lecture him as if he knew better. Lars hit decline to stop the buzzing, but once he did, an annoyed groan came from the entrance to his room.

“Did you just decline the call AGAIN?” Asked Steven as he came in, clearly annoyed.

Lars lifted his head, but quickly let it drop back on the pillow with a resigned sigh. “I’m not in the mood, Steven...”

“Yeah? Well I’m not exactly in the best of moods either, considering you dumped Sodalite and made me clean up the mess.” Steven shot back, his tone more stern than it was angry. “I’ve been calling you for days.”

“The unanswered messages and declined calls are usually a sign that I don’t want to talk. Where’s your shadow?”

Steven sat himself at the edge of Lars’ bed with a frown. “If you’re talking about my girlfriend, Spinel has been working very hard to try and console Sodalite. She said she felt partly responsible for what happened.”

“She should.” Lars muttered bitterly.

“Spinel was only trying to help. She may not have given the best advice, but she had good intentions. It didn’t mean you had to push Sodalite out of your life.” Steven replied.

Lars honestly didn’t have the energy to argue much. It’s why he had been avoiding Steven. “Did Sodalite tell you what happened?”

Steven sighed and shook his head, “sort of. When I went to pick her up she was just crying and said you didn’t want her around anymore. She thinks she did something wrong. She said that it was all her fault. When I told you that you should be honest with her, I didn’t think you were going to bite her head off.”

After feeling rather numb for the last couple of days, Lars’ stomach began to turn in knots. So Sodalite did cry. He sat up, refusing to look Stevens way as he stared at his lap, “...is she...has she been able to go outside?”

“She’s been staying with me,” answered Steven, calming himself a bit now. Lars seemed worried about her at least. Still, he didn’t understand why it turned out like this. “...she doesn’t want to go back to little homeworld...but she doesn’t really like it at the house either. For now, Spinel is letting her stay in her bedroom inside the temple. Sodalite hasn’t come out much.”

Lars said nothing at first, fighting the urge to ask more. “You...you can’t force her out, but you shouldn’t leave here in there alone. She doesn’t like being alone. When she panics...I usually have her focus on something small. Like...the sound of my voice or I hold her hand...”

“Lars, I didn’t come here for instructions on how to handle her. ...though she did black out the house for a couple of hours when Pearl tried to bring her a snack.”

“Sodalite doesn’t eat anything. ...and uh...she might not sleep to start with, but she does like to when she gets comfortable. The only problem is that she tends to have nightmares. It’s better if someone is there when she wakes up. Once she sees that someone is there...she usually goes back to sleep...”

“Lars,” Steven began again, “my bed is not big enough for three people.”

The pink human flinched and suddenly appeared upset when he finally looked up at Steven. “I didn’t say for you to sleep next to her! S-she sorta likes Garnet and Peridot because they don’t have too many negative feelings floating around. Maybe ask one of them to-“

“—you know she’s going to refuse any help,” Steven reminded Lars evenly. “Those things that calmed her down...I bet they only worked because it was you that did them.”

“She’ll be fine without me in a little while. She just...has to get used to it...”

Steven could see that this wasn’t going the way he hoped. Why was Lars being so stubborn about this? It was far worse than before. Rather than just not admitting how he felt, he seemed completely depressed, as if it were Sodalite that ran away from him. “You don’t think you’ll regret this? I can tell you miss her...”

“Yeah! I miss her!” Lars shouted in frustration, slamming his fist down onto the bed. He’d been trying not to think about it. It was a big reason he didn’t answer Stevens calls. He missed just about everything. Even the way she would panic and hide behind his back. “But missing her doesn’t change anything. She was never going to get better with me around. I didn’t want her to get better. I took advantage of her and almost selfishly ostracized Sodalite.”

“If you realize you were making a mistake, all you had to do was fix it. You didn’t have to tell her to stay away,” Steven reminded his friend.

“Yes I did,” Lars insisted. “Sodalite believes everything I say without question.She’ll do anything I ask. ...she thinks I can never do anything wrong. ...I can’t possibly live up to be the person she thinks I am. I’ve already proven that I’m not the good guy in this story. After what I did...I feel guilty just looking at her.”

Steven groaned. This was just going in circles. “I just came to see how you were doing, but you should really think things over before you leave ear—“ as Steven spoke, his phone began to ring and when he saw that it was Pearls number, he answered right away.

“Steven! Something is wrong with Sodalite!!Spinel shouted into the phone.

Steven had to hold the phone away from his ear due to the volume of her voice. “Wh-what are you talking about?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong! It’s really bad!! You need to come back right now!!”

On reflex, Lars jumped out of bed and snatched the phone from Stevens hand. “What happened?! Is she breaking?!”

“I don’t know! She won’t let me near her!”

Suddenly, Lars felt like he couldn’t breath and his heart dropped down into his stomach. Why? There was nothing dangerous around. She should have been safe. Steven had taken the phone back, but Lars couldn’t hear a word he was saying. All he could think about was how frightened Sodalite must have been. While Steven was assuring Spinel that he’d be there soon, Lars was already rushing out of the room.

“H-hey, Wait for me!” Steven shouted after Lars before following him out.

It didn’t take them long to reach the house in the car, but for Lars it felt like forever. Once they finally arrived, both boys ran into the house in a panic, with Spinel standing anxiously near the temple door.

“You’re here!” The pink Gem exclaimed happily once she saw the two arrive.

“Where is she?!” Lars asked desperately.

“She’s in my room, hurry!” Insisted Spinel as she opened the temple door. Lars rushed inside, but as Steven made to follow, Spinel grabbed his hand and quickly forced the door shut.

“Spinel?! What are you doing?! I need to heal Sodalite!” Steven shouted in panicked confusion.

The pigtailed Gem offered Steven an apologetic smile, “...about that...”

While Spinel dealt with Steven in the main house, Lars had just entered Spinels nearly empty room,unaware that Steven hadn’t followed after him. Though Lars had prepared himself for the worst, when he finally spotted Sodalite, she appeared just fine. The freckled Gem was sitting on the floor, her back against a large pillow cushion as she hugged her knees.

At first, Sodalite didn’t bother to look up when she heard the temple door open, but when she glanced up and saw Lars standing at the entrance, looking confused and upset; she froze.

Though Lars wanted to be angry with Spinel for lying, he couldn’t control the tears that began to well up in his eyes. Losing all strength in his legs, Lars dropped to his knees in relief and stared at the ground in shock. The whole way here, Lars had been picturing the worst. To see her perfectly fine and in one piece was such a relief that all the panicked energy drained from him.

Sodalite quickly scrambled to her feet when she saw Lars fell to his knees. She was still rather shocked to see him in the first place, but she was too worried about him to question it. “L-Lars?! What happe—“ she stopped herself just as she was about to reach him, remembering now that he had told her to stay away.

Just as Sodalite was struggling with how to handle this, Lars reached up and grabbed her arm, pulling her down into a tight embrace without a word.

“L-Lars?!” Sodalite exclaimed again, staring over his shoulder, thoroughly lost by this behavior. Didn’t he want her to keep her distance from him?

“She-she just won’t stay out of my business...” muttered Lars with a catch in his throat, of course referring to the pigtailed Gem that played such a cruel trick on him.

Sodalite was silent for a moment. She had cried for days, thinking how unfair and awful she had been to Lars. Determined to follow his wish that she stay away from him. So why was he here now? Without much warning, tears began to slip down her cheeks. “I-I was trying really hard!” She sobbed out finally. “I-I was hurting you and I didn’t even realize! I only-I only ever did selfish things and ignored your feelings!! I’m so sorry!! I really—I was doing my best to stay away like you wanted!”

Lars felt another twist of the knife in his heart as Sodalite cried in his arms. This was the last thing he wanted. Honestly, he thought she would simply hate him for all the awful things he’d done. Squeezing the Gems slender frame tight against his chest, Lars shook his head. “Don’t cry...” he pleaded quietly. “Please don’t cry...”

It was only now that Sodalite realized Lars’ shoulders were trembling as he held her. Still, she couldn’t stop the tears like he wanted her to. “...I-I’m sorry I made you-“

“-No—I’m sorry!” Lars insisted quickly, feeling his own tears slip down his cheeks slowly. “I didn’t want to hold you back. ...but when I heard that you might—“ Lars stopped himself as a lump formed in his throat. He didn’t want to think about her shattering again.“I...I’m just glad that you’re okay...”

“I’m not. I wanted to do as you told me...but I can’t. I don’t want to be left alone,” whimpered Sodalite gripping the back of his shirt as she held onto him. For days she’d been working so hard in order to stay away from him, but it hurt so much. “I-I’ll do better. I won’t do anything you don’t like anymore. ...I’ll be really good...I promise. So pl-please...let me stay with you.” Though Sodalite knew this might just trouble Lars, but she feared that if Lars left, she’d truly never see him again. This was her only chance to try and make amends.

Lars listened silently to Sodalite’s pleas. Her small, delicate voice trembling through her tears. How could he leave her now? He barely had enough strength to do so the first time. Not five minutes ago he was rushing here in a panic, worried that she was going to be gone forever. Now, she was in his arms and begging him to stay. “I just wanted to do what was best for you. ...I didn’t want to hold you back...”

“As long as it’s you holding me, I don’t care,” replied Sodalite, refusing to pull away from the embrace; afraid to let him go. “You don’t want to be selfish, but I don’t mind. I’m selfish too. Go ahead and keep me with you and only you because I don’t need anyone else. I don’t want anything else.”

Taking in a deep breath, Lars placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back to see Sodalite’s face. “...you’re not some doll I can just keep locked away...” he whispered gently, brushing the tears from her cheek with his hand. As he looked into her hopeful, anxious eyes, Lars felt his cheeks begin to burn. Though it wasn’t too appropriate to think like this right now, he couldn’t help but fixate on how beautiful she was. “I’m sorry...” he continued, almost too ashamed to look her in the eye. In the end, Lars ran away from her because he was scared of being tossed aside. He ran away just like he used to do and like always, he hurt someone he loved. “I-I’m not perfect or anything...I don’t know why you think you did anything wrong. I was the one who hurt you. I got scared all on my own because I wasn’t prepared to-I just didn’t think I would develop feelings for someone...so soon. It happened kinda fast and I-“ Lars cut himself off, wondering if he was admitting a bit too much. He had already averted his gaze to the side, his ears burning as his face flushed red. “M-my point is...you...I’ll make it up to you. I want to be...the person you think I am. I...I want to...” even after all this, Lars had trouble getting the words out. As if they were stuck in his throat. All the dangerous things they had been through before and these words somehow turned out to be the most terrifying.

Sodalite had been patiently listening to Lars as he spoke, watching his cheeks change color while he struggled with his words. She wasn’t a brave Gem by any means, not after everything that had happened to her, but she wasn’t afraid of anything in this moment. “I love my Lars...” she said with a tearful smile.

Lars flinched lightly as his heart skipped a beat against his chest. She always sounded so happy when she said things like that. He returned his gaze to see her face and was relieved to see her smile again. “...a-and I...love you too...” he muttered bashfully.

Once his words hit her, it was as if stars appeared in her eyes. The freckled Gem seemed shocked at first, but wasted no time in leaping forward, nearly knocking an unprepared Lars to the ground.

“Wh-whoa! You gotta warn me or—“

“—I love you! I love you!” Sodalite exclaimed happily before planting several sweet kisses along his cheek.

Lars smiled as he steadied them both, “j-just so we’re clear...things won’t be exactly like they used to be...”

Sodalite stopped and met his eyes, worried that she had gotten carried away again. Perhaps she shouldn’t have assumed everything would be the same. “I didn’t mean-“

Placing his hand over her mouth gently, Lars made sure to keep Sodalite from apologizing just yet. “...I mean...that...if you’re going to be my girlfriend, we can do things that couples do now. You won’t have to ask to stay with me. ...cause...that’s where you belong. ...so...I-I promise to make you happy and I’ll work hard to make all this up to you. Just...stay with me...as long as you want to...”

Once again, Sodalite didn’t see much difference from being a couple to how they already were. Lars already made her very happy and hearing him say all this more than made up for the past few days, but she was sure that even if she told him this, he wouldn’t believe her. For now, she simply nodded her head and gently removed his hand from her lips. “Forever.”

Lars was still amazed that she could say things like that without a hint of embarrassment. Still, her cheerful expression warmed his heart. He reached over and cupped her face in his hands, leaning forward just as a stone door appeared and opened to reveal Steven, struggling to get through as he gripped the entrance, Spinels arms wrapped around his waist like rope as she attempted to pull him back.

“S-sorry Lars!” Steven panted, his appearance disheveled from an apparent struggle to get to the door. “Spinel was just trying to help! I-“ Steven stopped once he took a good look at the scene in front of him. Though he had fought to get Lars and Sodalite out of the locked room, thinking Lars would be even more upset with Spinel for the trick she played on him, not only did Lars not look mad, he seemed to have interrupted something. “Uuuuumm...I’ll just...”

Lars’ face had turned a dark shade of red once again and he removed his hands from Sodalite before quickly getting to his feet, offering a hand to his blue Gem in order to help her up. “N-no!” Insisted Lars as he cleared his throat and helped Sodalite to her feet as well. “J-just get us out of here,” he added, trying to appear calm.

Steven was once again surprised, but pleasantly so. Spinel reeled herself forward and unwrapped her arms around his waist, leaning against his back instead to look in on the couple. The pigtailed Gem looked a bit roughed up herself. Indicating that she had fought rather hard to keep Steven from getting to the garden door that connected her room to his. However, once she heard Lars say, ‘us,’ she realized that trying to hold Steven back was no longer needed.

“See? My plans always work out flawlessly,” the pink Gem bragged.

“Yeah, you really made this all go so smoothly,” Lars replied sarcastically, still rather annoyed with her.

Steven sighed in relief, just glad this all turned out okay. Once Spinel opened her door to the main house, Sodalite hugged Lars’ arm as they left the temple which only served to embarrass the pink human after everything that happened. He could only hope that Steven and Spinel wouldn’t say anything to make this worse for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is essentially the end of Lost Stars. There will be one more chapter, but this was always meant to be a short story. 
> 
> I’ll still post one shot stories later on and small comics of them. Thanks for reading so far. I hope you’ve been enjoying it! :)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Well thats it for the first chapter. I hope you will follow Sodalite and Lars for a while. Also, don't worry, I'm working on my Other Fic's too. I've just been out of Insulin for a little while, so focusing on anything was nearly impossible while trying not to die. lol
> 
> However, a new chapter of Change My World and Only You will be out in the next few days. Thank you for all the support and love! Love you all!!


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